Charlie the Unicorn's Angels
by TheCrazyPerson44
Summary: Charlie gets visited by the two unicorns again, but this time they want to lead him straight into the fiery pits of heck! Rated M.


One day Charlie the unicorn was lying around on the grass of the meadow. But suddenly, something disturbed his sleep.

"Heyyy Charlie, we're your beautiful guardian angels, wake up, we've found a map to the fiery pits of hell!" said the blue unicorn.

Charlie couldn't hear him.

"Go to hell you two, I'm trying to take a nap!" said Charlie. The two unicorns laughed.

"Nooo Charlie, YOU have to go to hell! Your soul is of the damned! We're angels, Charlie, your angels, that makes us Charlie's angels!" said the pink unicorn.

"Why do I have to go to hell?" Charlie asked.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe you looked at too much My Little Pony Hentai!" said the blue unicorn.

"What? Gimme a break! I only look at Rouge the Bat hentai" replied Charlie.

"That is soo not right. Well, ur definately still goin' to hell Charlie" said the pink unicorn.

"Oh yeah? Go stick a banana up your rear!" protested Charlie.

"Oh man, that was offensive!" said the pink unicorn.

"Not as offensive as you guys and your very presence!" said Charlie.

"Forget the insults and the bananas. Charlie, you must come to hell with us. It will be exciting for you!" said the blue unicorn.

"WHAT? You mean to tell me that it's not already hell enough that I have to put up with you two, and that I have to actually get dragged into hell WITH you? Oh please!" protested Charlie, putting his hoove over his face with a look of extremediscontentment.

"Charlie, it's not so bad! Hell will only be temporary! Plus, there's free pizza and there are nightclubs down there where you can meet girl unicorns! You can bet they're hot too, it's hell after all. Girl unicorns Charlie!" said the pink unicorn. The blue unicorn chimed in.

"Not to mention large amounts of alcohol!" said the blue unicorn.

"Yeah, Charlie, women! And since you're a unicorn, you can even get horny with them! Oh, and there's alchohol!" said the pink unicorn.

"Drugs too!" said the blue unicorn.

"Just being with you two is like a bad shroom trip! But alright already, I'll go I'll go!" said Charlie. The two unicorns

cheered merrily.

"YAAAAY! He's going to hell with us!" the two unicorns chanted in unison. The ground began shaking, and Charlie and the two

other unicorns fell deep below the earth.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Charlie.

"Chaaaaaarlieee!" screamed the blue unicorn.

"WHAAAAT?" yelled out Charle in response.

"WE'RE FALLING CHARLIE!" replied the blue unicorn.

"WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS STATE THE OBVIOUS?" screamed Charlie.

"I wonder what Freud would say about this!" said the pink unicorn.

10 hours later of nonstop falling and screaming...

The unicorns finally plummeted into the fiery pits of hell! When Charlie woke up, the next thing he knew, he saw Satan

himself. Satan was dressed in satin, and he was goat like in nature, although he possessed a forkish reptillian tongue, and yet,

he contained the charm of a fruit fly.

"Charlie, you've been a bad boy in your life haven't you? You have sinned greatly, and because of this, you are now in

Hell! I have a special punishment prepared for you, dear boy!" said Satan, the master of all things vile and wretched, as he led

Charlie down a narrow path into a dark room.

"This isn't anything like my two friends said Hell would be like!" said Charlie.

"Pink and Blue? They are my servants!" replied Satan. "They are my two right hand men! Their real names are Gog and Magog,

and you will now be tortured for eternity!". Satan laughed a hearty evil laugh, and tossed Charlie into a pit of damnation.

Female unicorns began drowning him in alchohol.

"NOOOO!" "Stop it girls!" yelled Charlie. Then the pink and blue unicorns appeared.

"Isn't it everything we said it would be Charlie?" asked the pink unicorn.

"Yeah, Charlie! Isn't it great?" said the blue unicorn.

"NOOOO! STOP IT YOU EVIL WOMEN! STOP DROWNING ME IN VODKA!" yelled Charlie.

"Oh, they'll never stop Charlie! And we get to watch!" said the two unicorns. They began laughing evily. Then Charlie woke

up. He was in the grass again.

Ten minutes later...

Charlie finds himself back home in the meadow. But he is woken up by the two unicorns.

"Heyy Charlie! We found a map!" said the blue unicorn.

"NOO! Don't tell me! You two are those weirdo pink and blue agents of Satan!"

"Nooo Charlie, we're not angels of Satan, we're you're angels! We were sent by God, Yahweh, and we're here to escort you to

Heaven!" said the unicorns.

So the pink and blue unicorns took Charlie to heaven, and surprisingly, he actually lived happily ever after!


End file.
